They could still kick my ascot...

It is probably a bad idea to post this, as it will come back to Swift Boat my ass sometime later in life when I run for the goddam school board secretary or somthing. (Also because most of the people I am about to mock could totally kick my ass.) I really don't harbor any particular bad feelings toward the Navy, but does anyone else feel that it is time for them to update their basic sailor uniform? I'm not a combat kinda guy, so maybe I am missing the point, but I thought that military uniforms were either supposed to help you in battle or convey some sort of badass ceremonial authority or something. I mean, those ads for the Marines on TV with the swords and all, they are kind of intimidating, right? (They certainly made me not want to join the the few or the proud, which has got to be a plus for them.) And the Army camos and Air Force flight suits have a pretty clear function. But what's going on over in the Navy? Is all the white because we are waging massive sea battles on polar bears and penguins or something? Do the hats and scarves perform some maritime function that I just don't understand? Maybe that's why naval warfare is conducted with long range missles and massive guns - everyone is too sheepish about their clothes to fight up close. Anyway, unless the idea is to distract the enemy with immobilzing fits of laughter, they really need to not wear things called either 'jumpers' or 'neckerchiefs.' Walking home from work today, I saw a Navy guy in full uniform and had to concentrate so hard on not laughing I tripped over the absurdly well-groomed fox terrier that is constantly being paraded around Dupont Circle. Though his even more absurdly well-groomed owner was terribly upset, I think the little guy was just excited to see someone out that looked more ridiulous than he did.